Things That Go Bump (and Oof) in The Night

There’s nothing like getting into clean pyjamas after a hot shower and then sliding into your bed, under nice clean sheets. Your foot slides down the sheet and, suddenly, it encounters something wet, cold and slimy. Needless to say, you scream and jump out of the bed. The dogs all stand up and start barking while they destroy your bedding in their attempt to root out the intruder. Finally, it is subdued as you carefully peel back the covers, anticipating the worst. If you’ve had dogs for any length of time, the worst has found its way under your foot more than once, why should your bed be any different? You breathe a sigh of relief as you discover the remains of a very dead stuffed toy. It is removed and peace eventually ensues. You get to climb back into bed; ignore the cold nose, still searching for more toy remains.

I know that some feel that allowing the dog(s) on the bed is not good policy. Apparently, they feel it encourages dominance in the dog. Around here, they share the bed if they wish. To make it fair and since there’s only so much room for me and dogs in the bed (and that number isn’t even close to the number of dogs here), we take turns deciding who gets to sleep with me.

Delceg has become a huge bed hog. He’s not small to begin with and he takes great pleasure in curling up by your head, with his head as close to your head (and your ears) as possible. Thus when he begins to snore at a volume that rivals that of a World Cup soccer final, you are in a prime spot to fully appreciate his nasal arias. This is quiet though as compared to the racket that ensues if some hapless rabbit should cross the lawn when one of the dogs is awake.

The other night, I had a case of the guilts. I felt like I had been neglecting the two youngest members of our canine family – MG (Kaylee x Mac, 7 months) and Pepper (Bug x Delceg, 9 months). They can be very high energy and you tire of their antics a little faster than the dog that curls up at your feet for a snooze while you work. As a result, they get lots of time out running in the fenced field as opposed to fooling around in the house with me so their quieter when they come in. A tired GSP has a happier owner. As a result, I’ve been trying to do lots of bonding activities with them to make up for them being outside on their own so much. The latest was letting the pair of them sleep with me. Why I felt the need to have both sleep with me on the same night I do not know. I can only put it down to wine and temporary insanity.

After some quick inspections of the room and its contents, they settled down on the bed. Relieved, I got in bed, turned off the lights and aimed for sleep. Then the obligatory rabbit passed by the picture window that borders the bed. Rabbit 1, Heather 0. Finally I got them quieted down again and curled on my side with a reassuring hand on MG. Then Pepper spotted an old rope toy that had fallen between the bed and the wall; likely courtesy of Dublin or Delceg. This was fine. She retrieved it and fell to chewing on it with calm glee. No problem. At least not until MG realized that she was missing out on a toy and set out to steal it from Pepper.

You can guess what came next. After the necessary tussle which ended when I got up and threw the toy out of the room, accompanied by a great deal of cussing; we tried yet again. This time I got to fall asleep. Now there are lots of downsides to sleeping with the dogs (but fewer then sleeping with the fishes), but there is much comfort to be found in that warm body (or bodies in this case) curled up against you in the night. Neither girl snores and both love to snuggle. When they’re sleeping, like small children, they’re really rather angelic and sweet looking and you forget all the frustration they caused you earlier.

You remember them when fifty pounds of puppy suddenly lands on your stomach in the middle of the night. Apparently, Pepper woke up and had to investigate the dust bunnies under the bed. Her return to the bed could not happen at my feet. No, she had to jump right onto my stomach and shove her dusty face in mine so we could share the experience. Ain’t love grand.

The dynamic duo out playing in the yard: Pepper has the solid liver face and MG has the big blaze.